The inanimate object, the dead chunk of rock that is suspended above our earth - the moon is a truly beautiful thing.
I love seeing the Cheshire cat smile sliver of the waning moon. Smiling down at me.
The nights of the full moon that show it's brilliance.
The nights when the moon is not there, concealed by cloud, or still yet to rise, cause the immense blackness, the dark, the night, to be so vast.
The black of the night sky is unending.
The moon is somewhat a comfort when it is there.
The nearness rids the sky of danger and installs a sense of safety within me.
When the moon is above me, near in the sky, everything is okay.
When the Lord is near, everything is okay.
Scientifically speaking, the moon is a lifeless object, cold and grey.
But, the light of the sun is reflected by the moon. And by reflecting that light, the moon sheds light on an otherwise dark world.
Without the sun, the moon is nothing.
One could say that we need to be like the moon.
Psalm 34:5 reads "look to Him and be radiant."
Reflect the light of God, the light of the Son. He is the giver of the light, the radiance.
The world, the earth is a dark place, and like the earth to the moon, a force like gravity pulls us towards it.
The pull of the world.
Gravity.
Constantly the world is pulling us in, tempting us with things that seem so great, so fun, so easy.
But so empty.
So dark.
So lifeless.
Is there life in selfishness?
Give in to gravity, or resist it.
There are only two options.
We can choose to be out of the world, as the moon is. And we can reflect the light of the Son onto the darkness of the world.
He provides the light, gives it to us.
Now, reflect it.
Without the sun, the moon is nothing.
Without the Son, I am nothing.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
A name
“They say Aslan is on the move - perhaps has already landed.”
And now a very curious thing happened. None of the children knew who Aslan was any more than you do; but the moment the Beaver had spoken these words everyone felt quite different. Perhaps it has sometimes happened to you in a dream that someone says something which you don't understand but in the dream it feels as if it had some enormous meaning - either a terrifying one which turns the whole dream into a nightmare or else a lovely meaning too lovely to put into words, which makes the dream so beautiful that you remember it all your life and are always wishing you could get into that dream again. It was like that now. At the name of Aslan each one of the children felt something jump in its inside. Edmund felt a sensation of mysterious horror. Peter felt suddenly brave and adventurous. Susan felt as if some delicious smell or some delightful strain of music had just floated by her. And Lucy got the feeling you have when you wake up in the morning and realize that it is the beginning of the holidays or the beginning of summer. - The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe
The thought of God, and to hear His name can have a different affect on me at different times in my life.
So many different feelings, moods. Never static, ever-changing.
Sometimes, I long to hear that name, when He feels so distant, I will go frantically searching to find out everything and anything about Him.
But, other times, I shy from that name. The name will conjure a sense of shame in me, as past and current sins begin to surface in the front of my mind.
On rare occasions that the name of God overwhelms me and fills me up with such an astounding happiness and lightness within me.
It is at times like these that I wish upon the clocks to stop moving, upon the earth to cease spinning.
The far and few times I have felt like this have been so brilliantly lit in my memory have helped me to endure, and push through the times when I feel the darkness is overwhelming me, drowning me.
It is these moments of perfection that I hope for every day.
And the remembrance of the moments cause me to continue to strive towards Him.
I want to be closer and closer.
His name does make me feel differently at different times; scared, unsure, ashamed, happy, sad, lonely, crazy, numb.
I want the sound of His name to make me feel endlessly happy and the thought of Him to be perfect. I want this, so I endeavour to alter something in my life, and the sound of God's name changes upon hearing it, and I want to be at a time where His name is all that I want to hear.
To change the feeling I receive when I hear His name, I have to change something within my life.
How does the name of God make you feel?
And now a very curious thing happened. None of the children knew who Aslan was any more than you do; but the moment the Beaver had spoken these words everyone felt quite different. Perhaps it has sometimes happened to you in a dream that someone says something which you don't understand but in the dream it feels as if it had some enormous meaning - either a terrifying one which turns the whole dream into a nightmare or else a lovely meaning too lovely to put into words, which makes the dream so beautiful that you remember it all your life and are always wishing you could get into that dream again. It was like that now. At the name of Aslan each one of the children felt something jump in its inside. Edmund felt a sensation of mysterious horror. Peter felt suddenly brave and adventurous. Susan felt as if some delicious smell or some delightful strain of music had just floated by her. And Lucy got the feeling you have when you wake up in the morning and realize that it is the beginning of the holidays or the beginning of summer. - The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe
The thought of God, and to hear His name can have a different affect on me at different times in my life.
So many different feelings, moods. Never static, ever-changing.
Sometimes, I long to hear that name, when He feels so distant, I will go frantically searching to find out everything and anything about Him.
But, other times, I shy from that name. The name will conjure a sense of shame in me, as past and current sins begin to surface in the front of my mind.
On rare occasions that the name of God overwhelms me and fills me up with such an astounding happiness and lightness within me.
It is at times like these that I wish upon the clocks to stop moving, upon the earth to cease spinning.
The far and few times I have felt like this have been so brilliantly lit in my memory have helped me to endure, and push through the times when I feel the darkness is overwhelming me, drowning me.
It is these moments of perfection that I hope for every day.
And the remembrance of the moments cause me to continue to strive towards Him.
I want to be closer and closer.
His name does make me feel differently at different times; scared, unsure, ashamed, happy, sad, lonely, crazy, numb.
I want the sound of His name to make me feel endlessly happy and the thought of Him to be perfect. I want this, so I endeavour to alter something in my life, and the sound of God's name changes upon hearing it, and I want to be at a time where His name is all that I want to hear.
To change the feeling I receive when I hear His name, I have to change something within my life.
How does the name of God make you feel?
Monday, July 4, 2011
What is unseen.
So, my big adventure is over, but the greatest adventure has only just begun.
After three months in Peru, I was really ready to go home. There is no place like home.
But, God had other ideas in mind for me.
In Southern Chile a volcano erupted three weeks prior to when I had planned to leave, jeopardizing my flight home. Those three weeks, I will say, were the hardest three weeks of my time away.
Weeks of stress, of wanting to go home.
Weeks of tears and nightmares and frustration that I could not change the movements of the earth or of the atmosphere. It was out of my hands.
I ended up stranded, in limbo, halfway between Peru and New Zealand. I was in Santiago, Chile. My flight was cancelled.
I was not going home.
That moment, was one of those moments when I wish, when I have a longing to know something - anything of what God was doing, of His plans.
But, of course, I had no idea.
But, then He said to me:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6
All of those troubles, the tears and the nightmares I had in Peru, in the place that was familiar to me, quickly vanished.
And, it was in the unknown city, in the place of uncertainty and where I was lost, that I was found.
I realised that I no longer felt scared of what would happen to me, I knew that now I would look beyond what I can see.
To what is unseen.
Because I will never be able to figure out what God has planned for me, I will never be able to decipher Him.
But, this place of unknown allows room for trust.
To trust despite having no idea.
To know that when suddenly all of my plans have dissolved in my hands, it is because of precisely that - they are in my hands.
And I needed to transfer it all, everything, even the parts that are hard to let go of, into His hands.
For in His hands nothing will go wrong.
I still have no idea why God wanted me in Santiago.
But I should stop asking why He did that or why He's doing this. I should just trust Him.
And lean not on my own understanding.
After three months in Peru, I was really ready to go home. There is no place like home.
But, God had other ideas in mind for me.
In Southern Chile a volcano erupted three weeks prior to when I had planned to leave, jeopardizing my flight home. Those three weeks, I will say, were the hardest three weeks of my time away.
Weeks of stress, of wanting to go home.
Weeks of tears and nightmares and frustration that I could not change the movements of the earth or of the atmosphere. It was out of my hands.
I ended up stranded, in limbo, halfway between Peru and New Zealand. I was in Santiago, Chile. My flight was cancelled.
I was not going home.
That moment, was one of those moments when I wish, when I have a longing to know something - anything of what God was doing, of His plans.
But, of course, I had no idea.
But, then He said to me:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6
All of those troubles, the tears and the nightmares I had in Peru, in the place that was familiar to me, quickly vanished.
And, it was in the unknown city, in the place of uncertainty and where I was lost, that I was found.
I realised that I no longer felt scared of what would happen to me, I knew that now I would look beyond what I can see.
To what is unseen.
Because I will never be able to figure out what God has planned for me, I will never be able to decipher Him.
But, this place of unknown allows room for trust.
To trust despite having no idea.
To know that when suddenly all of my plans have dissolved in my hands, it is because of precisely that - they are in my hands.
And I needed to transfer it all, everything, even the parts that are hard to let go of, into His hands.
For in His hands nothing will go wrong.
I still have no idea why God wanted me in Santiago.
But I should stop asking why He did that or why He's doing this. I should just trust Him.
And lean not on my own understanding.
Monday, June 20, 2011
A smile
The spanish translation of the word 'smile' is sonrisa.
Sonrisa is my favourite word in the spoken Spanish language. To me, the word conjures an image of the sun rising. And the dark before the dawn disappears as the sun shines it's light and warmth on the cold world.
One simple smile, one sonrisa should shed light on all that surrounds you.
Like smiles, Christians should light a room when you step inside.
To shine the light of Jesus is what He called us to do.
"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put in under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in Heaven." - Matthew 5:14-16
Smiles are contagious.
We should be contagious.
As Christians light should shine through us.
We cannot merely thank God for saving us, we need to continue to do His work, we need to show all that He is and can do in how we live.
I want to radiate the love of God so much that people are drawn to the shine, to the warmth.
And others will want a share in that light.
You cannot live your life under the bowl, under the radar.
If you hide, the the light cannot be seen.
Do not be afraid you will scare people with the light.
Your light, your shining will allow others to shine too. And to share in the love and light.
If you feel you have no idea how to shine this light, or that you just don't have the strength, then ask God to shine His light through you.
Because ultimately, that is what the light is - He is shining through you.
Smiles can communicate so much. Without any words.
Happiness.
Love.
Understanding.
But most of all, smiles are a beacon of hope.
And that hope is the light of the world: Jesus.
And that hope is what we live for.
Sonrisa is my favourite word in the spoken Spanish language. To me, the word conjures an image of the sun rising. And the dark before the dawn disappears as the sun shines it's light and warmth on the cold world.
One simple smile, one sonrisa should shed light on all that surrounds you.
Like smiles, Christians should light a room when you step inside.
To shine the light of Jesus is what He called us to do.
"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put in under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in Heaven." - Matthew 5:14-16
Smiles are contagious.
We should be contagious.
As Christians light should shine through us.
We cannot merely thank God for saving us, we need to continue to do His work, we need to show all that He is and can do in how we live.
I want to radiate the love of God so much that people are drawn to the shine, to the warmth.
And others will want a share in that light.
You cannot live your life under the bowl, under the radar.
If you hide, the the light cannot be seen.
Do not be afraid you will scare people with the light.
Your light, your shining will allow others to shine too. And to share in the love and light.
If you feel you have no idea how to shine this light, or that you just don't have the strength, then ask God to shine His light through you.
Because ultimately, that is what the light is - He is shining through you.
Smiles can communicate so much. Without any words.
Happiness.
Love.
Understanding.
But most of all, smiles are a beacon of hope.
And that hope is the light of the world: Jesus.
And that hope is what we live for.
Monday, June 13, 2011
But a breath
At home in New Zealand, I have an amazing circle of love and support that surrounds me and is there every way I look.
I have Reece, my amazing boyfriend who supports me, challenges me and causes growth in my faith.
My parents, who have done a downright awesome job in raising me, teaching me good values and bringing me to faith in the first place.
My brother and sister who have made me the person I am today and I would be so lonely without them in my life.
And my group of friends, old and new, apart of Clevedon or not, who have always been there for me in one way or another.
Truely, God has blessed me with the amazing people in my life, and I am ever thankful for every one of you.
When I came to Peru, no one came with me.
I came alone.
Alone physically.
But God has never left my side the entire time.
When I was crying on the plane 1024 metres in the air - He was there.
When it was near impossible to fathom the beauty of Machu Picchu - He was there.
When I have felt alone
When I have felt in danger
When I just want to give in
He was, and is, always there.
The danger in putting so much trust and leaning so heavily on people is just that, they are people.
Isaiah 2:22 says 'stop trusting in man, who has but a breath in his nostrils.'
Humans are human and will eventually let me down in some way, not be there for me, or leave to go and live in some obscure country. Humans have 'but a breath', it could take one moment for someone to cease living.
Being in Peru, I cannot expect Reece to be there to tell me I'm beautiful if I'm feeling insecure, I cannot run to mum when everything is falling apart and I can't hang out with Ryan and Leah when I'm lonely.
But wherever I am in the world, surrounded by my community of love or not - God will never, never fail me in being there.
God doesn't need a passport to go somewhere, He can fit into car if that is where you need Him and He is in the wilderness in the middle of nowhere, and He's also at the supermarket.
Trust in God.
To be there wherever you go.
To be there when you need Him.
In the hard times and in the good times.
He is not human, and therefore will not fail you.
It is so good to surround yourself with amazing people, who love you.
But ultimately God is the only one who will never let you down.
For He will always be with you.
Remember that.
I have Reece, my amazing boyfriend who supports me, challenges me and causes growth in my faith.
My parents, who have done a downright awesome job in raising me, teaching me good values and bringing me to faith in the first place.
My brother and sister who have made me the person I am today and I would be so lonely without them in my life.
And my group of friends, old and new, apart of Clevedon or not, who have always been there for me in one way or another.
Truely, God has blessed me with the amazing people in my life, and I am ever thankful for every one of you.
When I came to Peru, no one came with me.
I came alone.
Alone physically.
But God has never left my side the entire time.
When I was crying on the plane 1024 metres in the air - He was there.
When it was near impossible to fathom the beauty of Machu Picchu - He was there.
When I have felt alone
When I have felt in danger
When I just want to give in
He was, and is, always there.
The danger in putting so much trust and leaning so heavily on people is just that, they are people.
Isaiah 2:22 says 'stop trusting in man, who has but a breath in his nostrils.'
Humans are human and will eventually let me down in some way, not be there for me, or leave to go and live in some obscure country. Humans have 'but a breath', it could take one moment for someone to cease living.
Being in Peru, I cannot expect Reece to be there to tell me I'm beautiful if I'm feeling insecure, I cannot run to mum when everything is falling apart and I can't hang out with Ryan and Leah when I'm lonely.
But wherever I am in the world, surrounded by my community of love or not - God will never, never fail me in being there.
God doesn't need a passport to go somewhere, He can fit into car if that is where you need Him and He is in the wilderness in the middle of nowhere, and He's also at the supermarket.
Trust in God.
To be there wherever you go.
To be there when you need Him.
In the hard times and in the good times.
He is not human, and therefore will not fail you.
It is so good to surround yourself with amazing people, who love you.
But ultimately God is the only one who will never let you down.
For He will always be with you.
Remember that.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Communication
Seeing the children here and knowing the lives that they were born into were lives that no child deserves causes me to pray that they will find a home, feel loved and that God will be present in their lives. Being here I pray for strength when I need it, I pray for safety when I feel in danger and for health when I am sick.
What is prayer?
I believe that prayer is direct communication with God.
Prayer is being open, raw and vulnerable.
It is not limited to keeling with hands clasped.
Often, I find myself praying only when it is needed. Only when something is on my mind, only at certain times of the day.
One should pray not because of want, need, or the feeling of obligation. Prayer is as essential to life as breathing is, as water.
To be in a relationship with God, prayer is central. No relationship or friendship can ever survive without communication.
The lack of communication due to language barriers have hindered me in friendships with those who only speak Spanish.
But prayer does not have any boundaries. God speaks the same language of you, the language of the heart and soul. There is no language barrier.
In my life, I desire for prayer is be an open and constant connection to God. Ever present and never ceasing. I strive for that.
But sometimes, I don't even know what to pray for, I have no idea how to pray constantly.
Romans 8:26 says "We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."
Prayers aren't just words. They are thoughts, meditations. But if one does not know what to pray for or how to pray, prayer can just be the willingness to open yourself to God, and allowing for the Holy Spirit to pray for you, and through you.
For no one knows your deepest desires, fears, longings or needs better than God.
To expose yourself to God like this changes you.
Yes you should pray when you have an exam, when you need strength, when a loved one is sick and when you need protection. But, don't limit your prayers!! The only thing stopping you is yourself.
If a prayer is powerful in itself, then how powerful will prayer be if it is constant and never paused? If a relationship has neverending communication, then it will be so much closer, tightly knit and strong.
Don't pray because you need to.
Pray because it is a part of who you are.
What is prayer?
I believe that prayer is direct communication with God.
Prayer is being open, raw and vulnerable.
It is not limited to keeling with hands clasped.
Often, I find myself praying only when it is needed. Only when something is on my mind, only at certain times of the day.
One should pray not because of want, need, or the feeling of obligation. Prayer is as essential to life as breathing is, as water.
To be in a relationship with God, prayer is central. No relationship or friendship can ever survive without communication.
The lack of communication due to language barriers have hindered me in friendships with those who only speak Spanish.
But prayer does not have any boundaries. God speaks the same language of you, the language of the heart and soul. There is no language barrier.
In my life, I desire for prayer is be an open and constant connection to God. Ever present and never ceasing. I strive for that.
But sometimes, I don't even know what to pray for, I have no idea how to pray constantly.
Romans 8:26 says "We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."
Prayers aren't just words. They are thoughts, meditations. But if one does not know what to pray for or how to pray, prayer can just be the willingness to open yourself to God, and allowing for the Holy Spirit to pray for you, and through you.
For no one knows your deepest desires, fears, longings or needs better than God.
To expose yourself to God like this changes you.
Yes you should pray when you have an exam, when you need strength, when a loved one is sick and when you need protection. But, don't limit your prayers!! The only thing stopping you is yourself.
If a prayer is powerful in itself, then how powerful will prayer be if it is constant and never paused? If a relationship has neverending communication, then it will be so much closer, tightly knit and strong.
Don't pray because you need to.
Pray because it is a part of who you are.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.
- Isaiah 12:3
Children have so much JOY.
And it is joy of the simple. Jhon as I fly him as an aeroplane instead of regular carrying. Jose-Luis as he chases after bubbles. Or Pedro and Jorge as Kelly and I balance dominoes on their faces (of all things!).
Once we grow out of childhood, it begins to get harder and harder to have constant joy that comes naturally.
Because joy is a choice.
Either one can chose to look upon life (the good, the bad and everything else in the spectrum) with the lens of gloom, or one can look upon life with the lens of joy.
And joy is lasting.
C.S Lewis said "No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it."
So, if you choose joy and seek joy, you will surely find it.
You will find it in the places you expect, and the places that are utterly unexpected. For joy is a gift from God.
This is not to say that having joy is easy. Being joyful in situations that don't seem to have any glimmer of joy in them at all is really, really hard.
But it is these times that joy is needed. Truely needed. Joy brings hope and light and joy is contagious.
Whenever I feel really down, homesick or weary, the pure and raw joy of the kids here instantly infect me. And this joy comes from kids who have no parents, are abandoned, have come from the street, were abused and these kids have gone through things no child should ever even have knowledge of. Logically, these kids should have no joy, but God has given them such great joy!
Joy liberates.
Joy brings one closer to God.
We should have joy for the simple fact that we are alive!!
So step forth in joy. Joy for life and joy for God.
"You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; The mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands." - Isaiah 55:12
Children have so much JOY.
And it is joy of the simple. Jhon as I fly him as an aeroplane instead of regular carrying. Jose-Luis as he chases after bubbles. Or Pedro and Jorge as Kelly and I balance dominoes on their faces (of all things!).
Once we grow out of childhood, it begins to get harder and harder to have constant joy that comes naturally.
Because joy is a choice.
Either one can chose to look upon life (the good, the bad and everything else in the spectrum) with the lens of gloom, or one can look upon life with the lens of joy.
And joy is lasting.
C.S Lewis said "No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it."
So, if you choose joy and seek joy, you will surely find it.
You will find it in the places you expect, and the places that are utterly unexpected. For joy is a gift from God.
This is not to say that having joy is easy. Being joyful in situations that don't seem to have any glimmer of joy in them at all is really, really hard.
But it is these times that joy is needed. Truely needed. Joy brings hope and light and joy is contagious.
Whenever I feel really down, homesick or weary, the pure and raw joy of the kids here instantly infect me. And this joy comes from kids who have no parents, are abandoned, have come from the street, were abused and these kids have gone through things no child should ever even have knowledge of. Logically, these kids should have no joy, but God has given them such great joy!
Joy liberates.
Joy brings one closer to God.
We should have joy for the simple fact that we are alive!!
So step forth in joy. Joy for life and joy for God.
"You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; The mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands." - Isaiah 55:12
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